Self Help Strategies

Self Help Strategies

How can I stop being violent and abusive?

Become aware of your alarm bells and use "Time out" when your alarm bells ring.

Although it may seem so, people don’t just suddenly snap. There is always a build-up of energy before an outbreak of violence. Become aware of your Warning Signs of the build-up towards violence.

Become aware of your alarm bells

Early Choices

  • Move out
  • Get counselling
  • Cease intoxicants
  • Phone the EP Helpline
  • Talk to a friend
  • Reduce stress in your life
  • Don’t get tired or hungry
  • Avoid risky situations

Late Choices

  • Take Time Out
  • Leave the room/house
  • Go for a walk
  • Phone a friend
  • Listen to music
  • Do relaxation exercise
  • Work at your hobby
  • Do ordinary chores

Emergency Choices

  • Sit down on your hands
  • Keep hands in pockets
  • Keep 6 feet away
  • Count down from 10
  • Practise slow, deep breathing
  • Concentrate on the ground

Alarm Bells could be:


  • Fast breathing or heartbeat
  • Tension in neck or shoulders
  • Clenching jaws or fists
  • Getting hot, Sweaty palms
  • Energy rising to head
  • Stomach churning


  • Feeling frustrated
  • Angry
  • Misunderstood
  • Criticised
  • Unappreciated
  • Unloved
  • Disregarded
  • Disrespected
  • Useless, like nobody, etc.

Irrational thoughts

  • Here we go again!
  • How dare you do/say that!
  • You always do/say this!
  • I’ll show you!
  • You can’t do that to me!

Vocal / Behavioural

  • Shouting
  • Swearing
  • Insulting Aggressive tone
  • Criticising
  • Threatening
  • Menacing
  • Standing over
  • Intimidating
  • Pointing
  • Raising fists

Once you become aware of your alarm bells and the choices you make there are strategies you can use to change your behaviour – click below to see more