Testimonials from previous participants in the Everyman Project counselling programme I'll start by saying that I'm aware I've still got a long way to go but I think I've made some progress since I started. When I joined the program t think I had this idea that Roger would put some kind of helmet on my head with lots of electrodes and nine months later I'd have no anger problems. I've realised recently that I'm going to have to constantly commit to changing my behaviour probably for the rest of my life. (read more) Wow what a learning curve this has been. Since starting the Everyman Project my life has changed for the better- having completed 13 weeks counselling with Joshua and then 16 weeks in the groups, it has changed my life for ever - no going back to my old ways. (read more) When I first came for my assessment on the 10th of February, I was desperately trying to save a relationship.Since starting my one-to-one sessions, and during my time attending this group, I have come to realise that the relationship I needed to save was the one that I have with myself. I now realise that I was very unhappy in my relationship with my ex-partner. However, I lacked the confidence and the skills to communicate this to her. I became more isolated, more vulnerable and more needy as I tried to deal with the situation. The gap between who I had become and my true self was filled with anger, pain and fear. Instead of accepting responsibility for and dealing with my feelings of vulnerability, I chose to be abusive towards my partner and towards my daughter. I now accept responsibility for those feelings and for my abusive behaviour. I feel guilt and shame for what I did and also for the effect that my abusive behaviour has had. Both on my ex-partner and on my daughter. I have learnt a lot during my time with the Everyman Project. I now have the practical skills to help me avoid being violent or abusive. I am aware of my warning signs and I now know how to keep myself and others safe. I now realise that I can choose how I want to behave. I know how to look after myself when I am feeling vulnerable. I can now work with my vulnerable feelings rather than being afraid of them. I have worked hard to create a more balanced and fulfilling life for myself. I have the confidence to communicate assertively, and with empathy, to ask for what I want. I can say 'NO' with confidence and without guilt. I have challenged and changed the beliefs that supported my abusive behaviour. I understand and accept my rights and my responsibilities and understand how they are separate from those of others. I have an understanding of healthy family relations for the first time in my life. Most of all, I have taken responsibility for my behaviour and for my life in general. I feel positive about my future and, perhaps for the first time, I see myself as the `architect of my own life'. I have also come to accept myself and to feel respect and compassion for myself. I am starting to heal. I leave this group fully committed to carrying on with the work I have started, painful though this can be. I will continue to explore my beliefs and to learn more about myself. I want to learn more about what is behind my thoughts, feelings and actions. I will continue to work towards accepting myself as a means of accepting others more fully. I would like to thank all the men that have attended this group since I started in September. I have been inspired by your courage, by your honesty and by your willingness to take risks. I also appreciate the support I have received from the group as a whole. It takes a great deal of courage to accept the need to change. I have the greatest respect for you all. I wish you all well. (back) I started attending everyman last march after I finally acknowledged that I had the ability to become abusive, aggressive and violent with my partner. When I started my one on one sessions with the counsellor I used to struggle with taking full responsibility for my actions. I used to justify my behaviour by holding my partner responsible for her part in it. After a lifetime of avoiding responsibility I found this concept very difficult to grasp. Several weeks in, the counsellor would still be chipping away at my inability to except that my action are my responsibility and mine alone. The counsellor had started my brain ticking on this matter but it was only when I started the group sessions that the penny dropped. This for me was a huge milestone and changing point in my life. I now understand what it means to be responsible for my actions and this alone has benefited me greatly. (read more) When I referred myself to Everyman project; I was at a very low point in my life; afraid of what I may do in relation to my violent and abusive behaviour which I had been struggling with and was struggling with. Every time I had been abusive I had told myself and my ex partner this was the last time; but somehow it would happen again. What was the trigger why could I not be "normal" I desperately wanted to be like other men who were not explosive and temperamental. I was helpless trapped. It was when I was at my GP that I saw a small card on the notice board advertising the services of Everyman project. I have always described this as the moment as a miracle. The afternoon after seeing this flyer I referred myself to Everyman project and since then I have become more and more aware of the issues around my abusive behaviour. (read more) I came to Everyman on the advice of my wife after a very distressing time. Life had been on a collision course for a long time, with me finding it uncomfortable to put up with a number of her habits and attitudes. I had been indicating my dissatisfaction to her in many ineffective ways, without effectively articulating my feelings and fears. The one to one sessions were a difficult time for me, but to understand some of my outbursts, and the reason for them. (read more) Introduction: Lose myself or discover who I am and what I'm really made of - this was the question I remember asking myself and with the help of my girlfriend at the time I took the first step and came for my evaluation in February 2006 soon after my abusive father died leaving me with a hundred unanswered questions. I remember crying because of how low, bad, worthless I felt after each time I lost it be it at home or because of my job or the guy that cut me up driving etc. (read more)