Testimonials from previous participants in the Everyman Project counselling programme I'll start by saying that I'm aware I've still got a long way to go but I think I've made some progress since I started. When I joined the program t think I had this idea that Roger would put some kind of helmet on my head with lots of electrodes and nine months later I'd have no anger problems. I've realised recently that I'm going to have to constantly commit to changing my behaviour probably for the rest of my life. (read more) Wow what a learning curve this has been. Since starting the Everyman Project my life has changed for the better- having completed 13 weeks counselling with Joshua and then 16 weeks in the groups, it has changed my life for ever - no going back to my old ways. (read more) When I first came for my assessment on the 10th of February, I was desperately trying to save a relationship.Since starting my one-to-one sessions, and during my time attending this group, I have come to realise that the relationship I needed to save was the one that I have with myself. I now realise that I was very unhappy in my relationship with my ex-partner. However, I lacked the confidence and the skills to communicate this to her. I became more isolated, more vulnerable and more needy as I tried to deal with the situation. (read more) I started attending everyman last march after I finally acknowledged that I had the ability to become abusive, aggressive and violent with my partner. When I started my one on one sessions with the counsellor I used to struggle with taking full responsibility for my actions. I used to justify my behaviour by holding my partner responsible for her part in it. After a lifetime of avoiding responsibility I found this concept very difficult to grasp. Several weeks in, the counsellor would still be chipping away at my inability to except that my action are my responsibility and mine alone. The counsellor had started my brain ticking on this matter but it was only when I started the group sessions that the penny dropped. This for me was a huge milestone and changing point in my life. I now understand what it means to be responsible for my actions and this alone has benefited me greatly. (back) When I referred myself to Everyman project; I was at a very low point in my life; afraid of what I may do in relation to my violent and abusive behaviour which I had been struggling with and was struggling with. Every time I had been abusive I had told myself and my ex partner this was the last time; but somehow it would happen again. What was the trigger why could I not be "normal" I desperately wanted to be like other men who were not explosive and temperamental. I was helpless trapped. It was when I was at my GP that I saw a small card on the notice board advertising the services of Everyman project. I have always described this as the moment as a miracle. The afternoon after seeing this flyer I referred myself to Everyman project and since then I have become more and more aware of the issues around my abusive behaviour. The one to one sessions enabled me to Identify why I was abusive and violent. My counsellor was empathetic but also challenged and helped me confront the reasons I was abusive. We looked at psychosocial activities from birth and although it was hard for me initially to accept my abusive behaviour was very much a learnt behaviour, I had learnt to be abusive and violent from the environment that I had been brought up in. Before moving to the group sessions I was nervous and apprehensive. However after the first two sessions I became relaxed as it had become apparent to me that we were all there to aid / help one another overcome abusive behaviour. The key things I learnt ...i.e. skills acquired in the group sessions were the awareness of other peoples rights and my rights i.e. how to have respectful relationships. The ability to empathise and how to be assertive for me this was very helpful as I had always looked at things from my perspective only. Another tool that I was equipped with at the Everyman group sessions was the ability to challenge my thoughts / perceptions in relation why people were behaving in a certain way towards me, how to weigh the evidence for and against this or these thoughts, this for me was very empowering and revealed to me that a lot of my feelings of anger and frustration were unfounded. There are a lot of other skills I picked up from the course but these are the ones that standout for me. We the men that have chosen to enrol for the Everyman project course are a unique breed, in that we have had the courage to confront our abusive and violent behaviours. It is much harder to confront and take ownership of ones abusive behaviour. It is much easier to justify abusive, blame others and blame circumstances. I take my hat off to everyman ...everyone that has attended and gone through this 7 month course (back) I came to Everyman on the advice of my wife after a very distressing time. Life had been on a collision course for a long time, with me finding it uncomfortable to put up with a number of her habits and attitudes. I had been indicating my dissatisfaction to her in many ineffective ways, without effectively articulating my feelings and fears. The one to one sessions were a difficult time for me, but to understand some of my outbursts, and the reason for them. (read more) Introduction: Lose myself or discover who I am and what I'm really made of - this was the question I remember asking myself and with the help of my girlfriend at the time I took the first step and came for my evaluation in February 2006 soon after my abusive father died leaving me with a hundred unanswered questions. I remember crying because of how low, bad, worthless I felt after each time I lost it be it at home or because of my job or the guy that cut me up driving etc. (read more)