Testimonials from previous participants in the Everyman Project counselling programme I'll start by saying that I'm aware I've still got a long way to go but I think I've made some progress since I started. When I joined the program t think I had this idea that Roger would put some kind of helmet on my head with lots of electrodes and nine months later I'd have no anger problems. I've realised recently that I'm going to have to constantly commit to changing my behaviour probably for the rest of my life. (read more) Wow what a learning curve this has been. Since starting the Everyman Project my life has changed for the better- having completed 13 weeks counselling with Joshua and then 16 weeks in the groups, it has changed my life for ever - no going back to my old ways. (read more) When I first came for my assessment on the 10th of February, I was desperately trying to save a relationship.Since starting my one-to-one sessions, and during my time attending this group, I have come to realise that the relationship I needed to save was the one that I have with myself. I now realise that I was very unhappy in my relationship with my ex-partner. However, I lacked the confidence and the skills to communicate this to her. I became more isolated, more vulnerable and more needy as I tried to deal with the situation. (read more) I started attending everyman last march after I finally acknowledged that I had the ability to become abusive, aggressive and violent with my partner. When I started my one on one sessions with the counsellor I used to struggle with taking full responsibility for my actions. I used to justify my behaviour by holding my partner responsible for her part in it. After a lifetime of avoiding responsibility I found this concept very difficult to grasp. Several weeks in, the counsellor would still be chipping away at my inability to except that my action are my responsibility and mine alone. The counsellor had started my brain ticking on this matter but it was only when I started the group sessions that the penny dropped. This for me was a huge milestone and changing point in my life. I now understand what it means to be responsible for my actions and this alone has benefited me greatly. (read more) When I referred myself to Everyman project; I was at a very low point in my life; afraid of what I may do in relation to my violent and abusive behaviour which I had been struggling with and was struggling with. Every time I had been abusive I had told myself and my ex partner this was the last time; but somehow it would happen again. What was the trigger why could I not be "normal" I desperately wanted to be like other men who were not explosive and temperamental. I was helpless trapped. It was when I was at my GP that I saw a small card on the notice board advertising the services of Everyman project. I have always described this as the moment as a miracle. The afternoon after seeing this flyer I referred myself to Everyman project and since then I have become more and more aware of the issues around my abusive behaviour. (read more) I came to Everyman on the advice of my wife after a very distressing time. Life had been on a collision course for a long time, with me finding it uncomfortable to put up with a number of her habits and attitudes. I had been indicating my dissatisfaction to her in many ineffective ways, without effectively articulating my feelings and fears. The one to one sessions were a difficult time for me, but to understand some of my outbursts, and the reason for them. I came to the group worried. I did not know what sort of people I would be with. I did not know the kind of atmosphere I would encounter. First two sessions were a bit nerve wrecking, when I discovered the range of state of minds that we are all in. Within a few weeks, however 1 felt quite comfortable and supported in areas where I reached out for help. I have found everybody very helpful and supportive, each one in their own way. At some point a few weeks into the group session I shared with everyone that I was staying in the family house whilst the wife and children were renting somewhere. I was advised by the two of the group to offer the house to the wife, and move out. I had d been grappling with this question for a long time, finding it difficult to make the offer because, I told myself, she had been the one that had moved out. Straight after that group session, I jumped in the ca and phoned her, offering her the house, and other like options. She never took me u~ on the offer, but I've had a clear conscience in this respect ever since. I'd like to thank the facilitators, Roger, Paul Andy, Norrnan, et al for devoting so much of your time and energy to helping everyone on the project. From my experience, it is not always easy; there is plenty of room for misunderstanding due to our differences. Despite these differences though, we seem to find a common denominator, somehow. To the rest of the group I would like to share just one of my feelings about what I feel I am taking on by committing to change my behaviour. It feels like trying to teach a young child who has been brought up badly how to behave. You have to be constantly reprimanding them. I am constantly having to reprimand myself, despite 16 weeks of group sessions and 13 one-to ones. So, this is the beginning, not the end. We cannot be complacent. I've taken the decision to end my attendance at the group sessions at the end of the sixteen sessions. Part of me wanted to carry on. I took the decision to end the sessions mainly because I feel that I need to get out there and try to change myself, without recourse to the group's comfort. Financial considerations also influenced my decision to stop. I am grateful to the facilitators for allowing me the option to come back at a later date, should I feel the need. (back) Introduction: Lose myself or discover who I am and what I'm really made of - this was the question I remember asking myself and with the help of my girlfriend at the time I took the first step and came for my evaluation in February 2006 soon after my abusive father died leaving me with a hundred unanswered questions. I remember crying because of how low, bad, worthless I felt after each time I lost it be it at home or because of my job or the guy that cut me up driving etc. (read more)