Testimonials from previous participants in the Everyman Project counselling programme I'll start by saying that I'm aware I've still got a long way to go but I think I've made some progress since I started. When I joined the program t think I had this idea that Roger would put some kind of helmet on my head with lots of electrodes and nine months later I'd have no anger problems. I've realised recently that I'm going to have to constantly commit to changing my behaviour probably for the rest of my life. (read more) Wow what a learning curve this has been. Since starting the Everyman Project my life has changed for the better- having completed 13 weeks counselling with Joshua and then 16 weeks in the groups, it has changed my life for ever - no going back to my old ways. (read more) When I first came for my assessment on the 10th of February, I was desperately trying to save a relationship.Since starting my one-to-one sessions, and during my time attending this group, I have come to realise that the relationship I needed to save was the one that I have with myself. I now realise that I was very unhappy in my relationship with my ex-partner. However, I lacked the confidence and the skills to communicate this to her. I became more isolated, more vulnerable and more needy as I tried to deal with the situation. (read more) I started attending everyman last march after I finally acknowledged that I had the ability to become abusive, aggressive and violent with my partner. When I started my one on one sessions with the counsellor I used to struggle with taking full responsibility for my actions. I used to justify my behaviour by holding my partner responsible for her part in it. After a lifetime of avoiding responsibility I found this concept very difficult to grasp. Several weeks in, the counsellor would still be chipping away at my inability to except that my action are my responsibility and mine alone. The counsellor had started my brain ticking on this matter but it was only when I started the group sessions that the penny dropped. This for me was a huge milestone and changing point in my life. I now understand what it means to be responsible for my actions and this alone has benefited me greatly. (read more) When I referred myself to Everyman project; I was at a very low point in my life; afraid of what I may do in relation to my violent and abusive behaviour which I had been struggling with and was struggling with. Every time I had been abusive I had told myself and my ex partner this was the last time; but somehow it would happen again. What was the trigger why could I not be "normal" I desperately wanted to be like other men who were not explosive and temperamental. I was helpless trapped. It was when I was at my GP that I saw a small card on the notice board advertising the services of Everyman project. I have always described this as the moment as a miracle. The afternoon after seeing this flyer I referred myself to Everyman project and since then I have become more and more aware of the issues around my abusive behaviour. (read more) I came to Everyman on the advice of my wife after a very distressing time. Life had been on a collision course for a long time, with me finding it uncomfortable to put up with a number of her habits and attitudes. I had been indicating my dissatisfaction to her in many ineffective ways, without effectively articulating my feelings and fears. The one to one sessions were a difficult time for me, but to understand some of my outbursts, and the reason for them. (read more) Introduction: Lose myself or discover who I am and what I'm really made of - this was the question I remember asking myself and with the help of my girlfriend at the time I took the first step and came for my evaluation in February 2006 soon after my abusive father died leaving me with a hundred unanswered questions. I remember crying because of how low, bad, worthless I felt after each time I lost it be it at home or because of my job or the guy that cut me up driving etc. Middle: I'd like to thank Noel, Russell, Norman, Madhi and Roger for the program, its content, the persistence and commitment they all make each week to provide a valuable service for those men that reach out their hands for support, help and guidance. I'd also like to thank past and current members of the group for what I've been able to lean and take away from their experiences that they have had the courage to share in the group; I hope people in the future gain as much as I have. Trying to catch myself getting worked up, what are the signs/triggers, why I am feeling this way, can I change my role in the situations that typically cause me to lose it, what are the consequences of my actions, in the long run what does it do, why do I find it difficult to back down, what example am I setting, getting myself out of the situation or taking a timeout are all processes/questions that nowadays run through my head. I am looking after myself, relaxing, keeping busy, managing my diabetes and making sure I don't have excuses for me not to look after myself. Ending: I came to this group because i have an anger problem, I did not know why I felt so bad, I could not express what I felt, the anger will not just go away, the world will not change but I can, I can help myself, and now I have the tools/skills to be able to at least ask myself a number of questions, ways of thinking about a situation, remembering the impact of the role play session's that I have participated in to keep the momentum strong. This was is not easy, sitting to write this, going back through everything, making sure I covered everything thing I could or even talking to you right now; it's a long life journey I've started that requires a lot of commitment, time, effort and energy at times but the reward and payback it yields as I've already seen are immeasurable. (back)